2008

Jul

Possibly the most bizarre text

Possibly the most bizarre text i’ve ever received: Walking distance !!! Just realized...

our office looks much better from here.

via flanerieoconnor

“1,024 pterodactyls equal 1 pedophile.”
— boss man is explaining...

the creepiest 3 second chat in the history of chats.

noigetit: Scotty Doesn’t Know - Lustra You know you love this song. You loved Matt Damon’s cameo...

This lady not only posted one of my all time favorite...

Today i’m dressed like a 60s living room.

CNN teaches me something

I just learned that the term lynching is used for the murder of anyone by a mob. I always thought it...

“If I get a cat, I’m going to name her Clitoris McBain....”
— Dewster

Jun

travors: Each of these Fantasy books has received at least...

Just found this stack of cups in gta’s pantry. Heart...

mice elf. Hahahaha

I'm in a section that

I’m in a section that doesn’t know the hanis.

Dave’s playing snake charmer!

That’s a baskin robbins ice cream cake.

I’m hot, sweaty, and smelly, I didn’t get to have dinner with Vermottie, there’s a...

Dominion Virginia Power's rates to increase...

I believe Dew might have a brain tumor. Example...

I believe Dew might have a brain tumor. ...

1st email: Gas in Germany is 1.55 euros…or $9.40. 2nd email: And that’s $9.40 a liter,...

Maybe it’s pms, female hysteria, or the vapors, but it really pisses me off that CNN describes...

As Jesus says, I'm just here to gloat.

If you ever get the chance to see Reefer Madness, you really should. It was unbelievably funny, and...

“I’ve been so sick to my stomach that I get the cold...”
— the boss man. we’d been...

bloxorz. completely addictive. beware.

spiegelman:(via blakeley) icanhaswar.com

Fox's Richmond affiliate bulldozes feral cat...

well, fuck.

George Carlin died. And I missed Zippy’s birthday. Being in a retirement community for 5 days...

Orbit gum likes to open up and chew itself in my purse.

can you see the shine on my new 30 year old shoes?

Oh my god. I had

Oh my god. I had forgotten dial up existed. It’s like giving a starving person a can of soup...

G-ma is totally perplexed by her missed calls.

oh south. ur trying so hard.

I’m immature…and this grosses me out.

Fairly terrible flashback, but it had to be done. 9 hours in a car with my mom and a dog. Bring...

zippy48: I shouldn’t write this, and I could totally get fired, but I just noticed that the owner...

So I was just straightening up (read: picking crap up off...

Map Dork link of the day

far to go

I’d like to go ahead and apologize to Thursday right now, before I even give it a chance to...

Altered States Geography Quiz

wylie: Kids - MGMT I’ve been listening to this song ever since I discovered it at 4am on the last...

She warned us it was huge.

Please believe me when I tell you that your huge suv doesn’t need to stop for speed bumps....

One Sentence - True stories, told in one...

“These are pristine islands, not the place where you would...”
— 5 severed feet have shown up...

“If I’m not blind Why can’t I see That a circle...”
— Through no fault of my own, I...

bjornstar: Tumblr: The Documentary So goddamned funny. Lonelysandwich needs to be in more videos....

sharingtime: Going to a happy hour with people you work with is like fucking your cousin: it might...

I just got off the phone with a friend and ended up with the oddest snapshot of what my life could...

lonelysandwich: BREAKING: Someone dug up Obama’s birth...

This is Obama’s page dedicated to addressing those...

We’re taking the socially inept and totally awkward intern to meet the people at the statewide...

I occasionally stay late and see the cleaning crew that comes through here at night. A couple of...

B sent these last night with the captions “American...

Today I’m going to keep my complaints about my life in check by being thankful that world news...

My first thought about All the Names: i really hate run-on sentences.

Nice, FDA. All that’s missing is the Crime...

EPA's National Dialogue on Access to...

eboscharoo: I call it: “thoughts of Chloe in rush hour with...

Far Away Eyes - 1978

New Guy assures me that this is the largest one of these...

for lee. btw, it was a great idea. the movie looks very...

All the haze out there is actually smoke from North...

EMDA- Everything’s Coming Up Roses For Zippy on her big day!

“Ninety-fucking-five?!?!?!”
— - me, after finally opening my...

New Girl’s out sick again. It’s the saddest.

seller’s description: “This home is being sold...

20 Great Modern Movie Cameos

zippy48: Chloe’s venture into Ethel Merman’s Disco reminded me of her cameo in Airplane…which led me...

brain not work so good

so I just tried to forward a vendor email to someone, and when gmail went back to the inbox, I...

Ethel Merman Disco Album - Track 1: There’s No Business Like Show Business cheesus chrust.

It’s here! this is just the best thing that’s...

Call me "Pudge"

lyndsaysgarden: Lats night at the company softball game, I had the opportunity to play the position...

dick cheney tried to kill sen. robert byrd. i’m convinced.

“What does it take to wake us up, we who feel so little?...”
— the great Andrew Bird (via...

May

Reason 3,214 i heart new girl: the that’s your boyfriend/that’s my boyfriend moment....

so we’re all looking at those horrible album covers...

“What my cat really wants is to lay on whatever magazine or...”
— staceycoleman it was actually...

I bought these last night from restlessthings, and I’m...

To be filed under “Things I’d never seen on the...

Greek food fest! That’s supposed to be her...

intervention

i just had to tell our new intern that he should use email and the internet to slack off more,...

“you name it, we mount it.”
— taxidermy truck I just passed...

The Game with One Rule: No Murder

tylerriewer: “In the small English town of Ashbourne during 2 days a year the people divide to play...

the dog will not stop farting. at least she looks sad about...

“Also, I like that you’re staying at the _____. ...”
— i picked the fucking hotel. ...

i guess they'll just have to talk about...

d: You said he's super nice. Like how super nice? Mr. Rogers? Richard Simmons?
me: no, not mr. rogers. he's not creepy. it just takes him a while before he'll talk about humping inanimate objects.
d: Um, I think we'll get along fine. Remember when I smashed the face of my watch while I was dry humping a concrete pillar?
me: yeah. that's why i used that as a ridiculous thing that he'd probably be too polite to talk about.
d: Oh......AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....I thought that we were going to have something in common!!!!!

gtabf and i didn’t win the egg toss yesterday.

I just downloaded my Houston pics, and found this one I took...

The birthday girl is a thirty year old Karen from will and grace. Amazing.

The cylon is making new girl and me dinner!

Last night

lyndsaysgarden: I dreamed I was trying to kick something off the ground, but in real life I was...

adamfrucci: This guy took one Polaroid a day from March 31,...

Boss man and a tiny pink guitar.

“I’ll be back Tuesday and if things aren’t...”
— Our new badass ex-rancher IT...

I just found out that Hollywood Cemetery is non-profit and...

I'm out, and we didn't

I’m out, and we didn’t even have to discuss what a bad friend i am! Hurray!

Let the torture begin.

I have a friend from high school I need to break up with. She’s a fine person, just after...

“The rumor that a character dies in Sex and the City is...”
— Someecards’ twitter (via...

living the dream.

i made the mistake of telling gta that i still feel like poo, and now he’s bringing me drugs. ...

I am SO EXCITED about this day!

I love this old house,

I love this old house, but between the basket of dolls at the foot of the bed,and the attic opening...

Barf roll: how you get home after a bar crawl

cbbt

NG: can you really call it a bridge if there are tunnels? Me: it’s the bridge tunnel. NG:...

The styrofoam cooler next to me is making inappropriate sex noises.

Man, NOTHING is going right today and...

alexbalk: Suck my ass, week! I’m glad you die tonight. right on!

What’s the most disgustingly Amurrican thing I’ve done today, you ask? I just bought...

dihard: Check out the difference in gas prices throughout...

noigetit: This is a terrible and short little video I made as my first attempt at stop-motion. It...

oh no. it just hit me that i’m going to lunch with mike the cylon, and i think over the top...

google docs

we’re going on a gis staff retreat to the eastern shore this weekend, and even though we all...

a challenge

recently my boss bet me that I couldn’t stop myself from saying inappropriate things at work...

Gta has, from what i

Gta has, from what i can tell, the very worst taste in music possible. edit: it was just a really...

Colbert reminded me of the gang sign we were using for...

flanerieoconnor: Shout out to Richmond, ya’ll!

grr-izon

i just spent an hour and seven minutes on the phone with verizon, trying to get my fios account...

have to replace my patio

have to replace my patio lightbulb, and i’m feeling like the chick that had to reach into all...

just found out that one of my girls is going to be home this weekend, and i’m going to be at a...

This newly identified spider has been named Myrmekiaphila...

A friend of mine got his boyfriend the grocery bag version...

dewster: (from the Bonnaroo forum) No. None at all. If...

This is the fakest-looking real photo i’ve ever seen. ...

I’ve had this horrible unspecified sense of dread since sunday afternoon, and if it...

ugh.

I just talked on the phone with a co-worker I’ve never seen. When I hung-up, my cube neighbor...

Dear dc, i heart you.

Dear dc, i heart you. Nova, go fuck yourself. Seriously.

energyface: The candy machine in our breakroom is a...

i just tried to text bealey about an old beater truck, and my phone decided “beaver...

Book club totally rocked, and no one even noticed my failness!

Complete and utter book club FAIL.

Vegetarian myths, debunked

i just lost ten minutes of my life to cuteoverload, and i’d do it again.

Told vermottie about gtabf. Had to promise him breakup sex if it works out. I assured him these...

eec: first day of the year for bare legs and i’ve already skinned my knee. what am i, a five year...

My GTA boyfriend sent me flowers at work. I’m grinning like an idiot, and I think tiny hearts...

If this dude says “economies of scale” one more time, i’m going to scream.

Our honored guest speaker just posed the very deep question “how can we be cleverer?”

setuplikeadeckofcards: Well, they seem to have an open-door...

I think GTA4 got me a date with a super cute dude tomorrow. The topper nerd move was that he...